Sleep is a funny thing, you never really learn to appreciate it until you have a baby and it no longer exists. All those people that said, "sleep now because you won't ever sleep again after you have a baby" were (so far) actually right... and that is just straight up infuriating. 

Kennedy was never a great sleeper. As a newborn, if I got a three hour stretch that was something to write home about. I remember those 4am feedings (after the 10pm, midnight and 2am ones) thinking to myself, people are actually getting ready to get up now and I have barely gotten to sleep. But those days are long gone and now I have a big girl on my hands, who WAS only waking up once or twice a night (I know, still not great) until last week. I don't know if it was her teething, us getting back from vacation or just because it was a day ending in -day but she was waking up every 2-3 hours. By night three I was losing my marbles and starting to feel like my life was falling apart.  I, no joke, started keeping a log of how much she was waking up and it was seriously depressing. I would try not to feed her but after her waking back up every 30 minutes after it took 30 to put her down, I was giving in. Sigh. 

Then Sunday happened, my good Mama friend told me about lavender oil... She said she put it on the corner of her daughter's mattress and afterwards, her daughter slept through the entire night. My friend kindly let me borrow this magical potion since it was pretty much an emergency. So, that night I put it on Kennedy's crib mattress and did a quiet prayer. Fast forward EIGHT hours and I had to go in Kennedy's room and feel her pulse because she still hadn't woken up...  I mean, Kennedy didn't sleep through the night (let's not get crazy here) but she did give me enough sleep to actually feel like a human being. It's the little things. So, the next time your Mama friend is going crazy on lack of sleep, let her take a nap or buy her some lavender oil... she'll certainly thank you.

A guest post from a lovely new Mama friend...

This week my best friend told me she’s moving to Texas with her two sweet girls under two.  We laughed and cried and talked about her future, and wistfully recounted the things that could have been. Her youngest daughter is four months older than my new baby girl. I had fantasies about our girls going to their first day of school together, about play dates and pool parties and high tea.  

Throughout this magical, and at times, brutal, transition to motherhood she has been an anchor for me.   She has talked me off a ledge more times than I care to admit in these four shorts month, and I couldn’t have handled motherhood well without her paving the way. 

For the past ten years we’ve lived apart from each other- I’ve been in college in the Midwest and then living in DC, and she wisely chose to stay in California where the sun shines and mosquitoes never seem to be a problem. But you see, this year, my husband and I are finally getting close to moving home.  A thousand details still need to come together, but in our hearts, we feel good about the decision.  And now, just as things are starting to work out for us to head west, she’s leaving.  Selfishly, I don’t want them to go, but I’m thrilled about this new opportunity for their family, and I know it’s a really really good thing for all of them. 

We didn’t know it at the time, but our last moments together in California were at our dear friend’s wedding a few weeks ago.  Our friend asked both of us to be her co-maids of honor, which was a brilliant idea because with little ones, we each have the capacity of half a person, and together we make a whole.  

Aside from the planning of showers and bachelorettes, as a breastfeeding mom of a four-month-old, I was pretty freaked out about all the time I would have to be away from my baby for the shower, bachelorette, rehearsal, and wedding.  I was flying out to California without my freezer stash, which I am inordinately proud of  … like so proud of I show it to random people when they come over (I know, it’s kind of weird but I had a really hard time breastfeeding at the beginning and we almost didn’t make it).   Also, remember when your freezer stash used to be Thin Mints?

True friend that she is- when I recounted the crazy and stressful feeding/pumping cycle I was trying to do to prep for all the events, she immediately offered to pump for me.  Considering that I had the flu and the four-month sleep regression (wtf is that by the way?!) was hitting us hard, I was deeply, profoundly grateful.   But wait, it gets better.  

First, at all the wedding events we just pumped separately and she gave me her milk.  Then, at the rehearsal, her pump wouldn’t work, so I just gave her my pump and she pumped into my bottles.  Our breast milk buddies for life deal was sealed at the wedding when right before we were supposed to walk down the aisle, both of us were dying to pump, and we only had 5 minutes, so I sat down on the toilet seat and pumped my boobs with one phalange and she stood up connected to the pump while she pumped her boobs with other phalange.  I don’t think I’ve ever been that close to another person.  I mean, seriously, that is true, break every boundary friendship right there.  There is a hilarious picture of it, which unfortunately no one will ever see because I am definitely not posting that on the internet. 

So that’s my thesis: true friends share boob milk.  Like a two-hour nap, or sleeping or six hour stretches, our friendship is a rare and beautiful thing.  I’m going to miss her so much, but I’m so happy that we have that ridiculous memory together, it’s one for the family history books.

You would think that after hours of Pinterest searching and google, I would have had the perfect hospital bag packed but apparently, whoever those ladies were, led me astray and I found myself wearing the same outfit almost the whole time I was at the hospital (read: the same outfit I came into the hospital wearing 9 months pregnant- nothing like making a girl feel pretty). Of course, I had everything I needed and more for Kennedy but for myself? Not so much... kind of a theme when it came to childbirth. So, here's my list of the things I (wish I had) packed for myself....

Toiletries and make up (don't worry I did pack these... I was trying to make friends and not scare people off.)

4-5 pairs of black underwear... in a large size to fit that horrible pad/ice pack, some that I wouldn't mind throwing away (who knows what I was thinking with the underwear I brought...)

1-2 nursing bras that I would feel comfortable wearing ALL day and ALL night. The Cake Rock Candy bra  or the Bella Materna Anytime bra would have been lifesavers but instead I had some crappy bras I had ordered online that weren't comfortable and that I didn't want to wear.

Thin and comfortable nursing pads like the Bamboobies nursing pads  but instead I had some cheap pads that I ordered from Amazon that were thick and uncomfortable.

If my milk had come in while I was there I would have loved some Bamboobies Therapy Pillows...

Black or other dark colored pants that I could wear 24/7 and that weren't tight AT ALL like the Cake Chocolate Vanilla Lounge Pants  but instead I had brought LIGHT blue Jcrew pajamas-- SO silly. Trust me... black is your friend.

An insanely comfortable nursing tank top like the Bamboobies nursing tank top... I didn't even know nursing tank tops that were this soft existed.

Pajamas that were soft and comfortable like the Cake Chocolate Vanilla Nursing Camisole and shorts or pants but instead I had button down pajamas that were insanely unrealistic when you were trying to nurse 24/7. 

A really comfortable sweatshirt, that zippered cardigan or robe. I wore my robe the entire time I was in the hospital...

Socks... lots of socks. Trust me.

Flip flops or other slip on shoes (I love my sperry's) to wear around the hospital... I actually saw one woman (who clearly had read one of the hospital bag lists) in a tiny nightgown, matching robe and ridiculous slippers walking around the hospital-- I felt sorry for her... you don't want to be that girl.

Boppy... it was hard enough to nurse those first few days, make it easier on yourself and bring your nursing pillow.

Cell phone charger

Hard candy... I bought orange lifesavers and they were amazing

Chapstick

For the baby, the hospital will give you wipes and diapers (take any extras home!) so you really just need clothes and swaddle blankets. Here's a list of the things I packed for K and loved...

Newborn sized footed pajamas... I heard over and over that you wouldn't need newborn sized clothes, K was in them for two months so I was REALLY glad I didn't listen. I would bring a few pairs of these..

A swaddle blanket

A cute hat (unless you're okay with the hospital hat that they provide)

A Bundleme for the car seat to take the baby home in (granted K was a February baby so if you're having a summer baby you can skip this one). 

One last thing I wish I had done was rented the hospital grade pump right then because they'll give you the flanges and other parts that you have to buy if you rent it elsewhere.... it's worth the money in milk gold to have one of these while you're establishing milk supply ;)

In all honesty, I kind of loved being at the hospital. The nurses take the baby when you need a few hours of sleep, you get room service and someone else is cleaning up the bathroom (#winning). So, pack yourself a bag and get ready for the ride of a lifetime... it's pretty amazing.